Meeting People Where They Are

Namaste, Y'all,

Today I want to address a topic that a fellow tarot/oracle reader brought up a few weeks ago that's stuck in my consciousness like crazy. It's about meeting people where they are, not where we expect, assume, or wish them to be so we can interact with them on common ground. Personally, for me, this has been a long string of disappointing relationships due to me not exercising discernment and discretion. I show up ready and willing to be my authentic self and have hope that everyone I encounter is doing the same. While there's nothing wrong with hope, there is that glaring thing called reality. Most people are existing behind a facade that houses their fears and permeates a delusional outlook on life. Being open minded is dangerous when risk taking has been shunned in place of complacent discomfort to fit a false sense of security narrative. I existed in these spaces for most of my adulthood. Embracing beliefs around humility and shame prevented me from expressing my truth and loving myself for being more than enough without needing any outside validation.

The past several years I've noticed that many of my relationships have been shallow-based and lackluster. No matter whom I tried to connect with, it turned sour not long afterward. And I discovered that most of the people just wanted to live life in the shadows under the influence of something or in deep denial. As soon as the opportunity to hold a deep conversation involving self evaluation or esoteric concepts was brought up, they'd immediately change the subject or flat out refuse to discuss it. Being one not to shy away from such things left me hungry for them even more. For a while the only person that I could have such talks with was my therapist, who was amazing. And instead of moving on, I'd lower my standards and dim my intelligence to have their company at the least. Then one day the questions hit me like I ran headfirst into a brick wall: Why was I choosing souls who were willfully denying their growth? And why are you sticking around waiting for them to change when they've made their position clear to you? Talk about awakening.

The answer lay in my fears of being vulnerable and psycho-emotionally wounded for desiring others to meet halfway in their self-discovery and healing journey that I was committed to. I know that looking into the mirror of your soul is not for the faint of heart, but I was one desperate bitch. Life had dealt me a curious and inquisitive mind that's not afraid to ask the difficult questions and receive the truth, even if it's brutally honest. I'd rather know than suffer the consequences of not knowing. We are here to learn and understand as much as we are able and to create life experiences based on the lessons. As much as I love my freedom, I loathe being in the dark when it comes to lacking wisdom and understanding the whys and hows of the human condition. I've grown less tolerant of those who want to be unconscious of their day to day affairs and simply exist in a fog of delusional comfort. That's not living. I choose to thrive in vibrations of mindful creation that promote healing and honest expression of self-awareness based in love. There are many people who have many things, but they're miserable due to unhealed wounds that are buried underneath generational cycles of unrealistic demands. Why do we keep repeating life cycles that are steeped in denial and misery when love is far more freeing and happier?

The past couple of years have been sobering as I've left a great deal of partnerships, or through divine intervention playing a part in them ending. While some of these have been disappointing, I am grateful in hindsight, for I've learned who I am and who they really were. Not all friendships and alliances are built to last the test of time, which makes it imperative to have quality over quantity. And it's quality unions that mean the most to me, not the superficial and shallow. I'm open to partnerships where mutual satisfaction thrives, compassion is respected, boundaries are honored, goals and dreams are shared, and space to grow securely is provided. The days of compromising my sanity and authenticity for mediocre unions are long gone, and so is sticking around feigning false hope for the impossible. Now that I'm reaching my golden years, I don't have time to waste playing Rescue Roger for those selfishly wanting my attention or to run off my energy for clout purposes. Take that somewhere else. 

Terry Perkins