Accepting That Healing Hurts & It's An Ongoing Process

Namaste, y'all,

And welcome to February, 2026! I had a powerful thought hit me recently regarding the topic of projections. Why do we project, especially the painful emotions bound in our unhealed wounds? What came up for me is that what we are filled and overflowing with must be released, like a volcano when the pressure from the forces of heat converge that cause it to explode its molten lava.  Just as a volcano naturally erupts, so, too, will our emotions when the conditions and triggers align with them. When we suppress critical feelings, we're building an explosive arsenal for a future event(s) that may end up costing us key partnerships and others. Unchecked emotions and denying them attention to heal and release can lead to rage, not anger, but full-on explosive outbursts that could've been prevented if one had taken the time to work through them earlier. I know this was the case for me in my younger years. Instead of confronting my pain, frustrations, and fears, I buried them in drugs and booze, believing if I numbed myself, they would go away. Oh hell no, it made matters worse and my pain that much more unbearable. I was caught in a vicious cycle of self-destruction and didn't even know it.

Things were so bad that I became not only detrimental to myself but also to those around me. I had the reputation for being 'a loose cannon' when I was under the influence, and adding the slew of blackouts didn't help. This made me a liability to be associated with, thereby causing me to be isolated for a time until I made efforts to straighten myself out. I quickly realized that many of the people I had surrounded myself with were just as messy as I was. We were wounded children inhabiting adult bodies, reliving our toxic childhoods under the influence. It was as if the universe had gathered us all together so we'd have to look at ourselves reflected in each other. It was in our sober private conversations the painful truths were revealed and released, but unfortunately retrieved and buried in our self-loathing addictions for another day. It was almost a decade after coming off the streets that I finally instigated the healing process. And does it still hurt? Yes, for it is an ongoing process where you must accept yourself as you are with compassion and authority, not as the eternal wounded victim carrying versions of your former self. Forgiveness becomes your friend, and knowing that you're better off today than yesterday is your reward. You must work through your healing process alone, for it is an inside job up to the individual.

I honestly believe in the saying that says, “What we refuse to heal will keep on revealing itself until we do the shadow work.” In my personal experience, this rings true to the mountaintops. Over the years, critical themes, cycles, and revisiting key life lessons have been ongoing. Life does not yield to you; you must yield to it. It doesn't get easier; you get better at adapting and becoming a quick study and executing a mean cut-off game and knowing where to set fierce boundaries up with everyone. In my service I share the techniques and experiences I have had to endure but leave it up to the client because there is no one-size-fits-all path when it comes to life. Life is funny in how we are immersed in the lesson and then learn after the fact, and  not the other way around. No amount of schooling can possibly cover the infinite scenarios one will face at any given time; it's simply impossible. This is why I strongly recommend the clients develop a strong relationship in trusting their intuition, because it goes far beyond the voice of reason and is certainly more powerful than learned reactive behavior. When you learn how to respond accordingly in a situation, you will navigate through it far more successfully. I'm in no way minimizing this; trust me, it takes time to get to a place of stability and clarity, so be gentle on yourself. Free others from their emotional wounds and bonds.

In closing, the next time you find yourself or another projecting, take a pause and check in with yourself. Ask if this is your story. Is there a lesson here that you need to look at it deeper? Why is this recurring theme prominent in my life experiences? What am I ignoring inside me that is triggering others to unload their dark emotions onto me? You may find that they intuitively recognize your inner healer and feel safe to let loose, something that often happens in my line of work, and I have had to learn to separate my emotions from the fallout. Another probability could be you have a hidden root issue that's been hiding in the shadows of the subconscious that's now ready to be removed and healed. The healing process is like peeling away the layers of an onion, a process that can leave you crying as you go prying deeper into its core, but how sweet it is when you've accomplished the tasks. Healing hurts. It's a long process requiring patience and compassion. We all heal at our individual pace, so be understanding and hold space for those who are beginning or in the thick of it, which is the most painful. Express yourself, even if it means running the risk of losing a loved one. Life is too short to be surviving under unresolved situations due to denying yourself to fully feel like a human. It is human to express anger, love, excitement, sadness, depression, and desire. Don't hold back because you're creating a ticking time bomb that will blow at the most inopportune moment one day.

Love, light, and healing,

@Terry Perkins